Blog Udate' December, 2018
This could be my last blog entry. But then again, I could hang around, continuing to run over and into things with my “dainty” - 350# pound electric chair. My aids all tell me that “…you (I) need to find a different name…” for my "electric" chair, but they quickly dismissed suggestions like: Killer, Terminator, Motivator, etc.
But realizing that the first case is a possibility, I’d like to mention a few things that I need to say about my condition, my attitude, and my life\faith in general.
First of all, my condition is changing, I am getting more movement in my arms and legs. Still, I am bound to my "electric chair" for any movement I can manage, but am happy for it. Despite its reputation, it allows me to escape from the more mundane portions of living/waiting for things to happen in a nursing home, which, I am told, should be referred to as a "SNF" (pronounced "sniff"). I also have a manual chair, but until I get my grip back, I'm currently unable to propel it
As many of you know, I am a retired Professional Engineer. That fact alone, may speak volumes to those non-engineering types that must coexist with us, but we do tend to understand certain things more quickly, lending to our reputation for having an opinion on nearly anything that comes our way.
What makes me crazy, is people who, admittedly - like myself, often jump to conclusions, giving a person that is in someway handicapped, little or no voice or value in the ultimate solution. Using the values and methods we have accrued over our years of success, we try to remedy an issue without understanding the basic causes that led to it becoming a problem in the first place.
While the chair may serve my current needs for mobility, it has also provided me with the opportunity to learn a lot about listening, letting others lead (and sometimes fail), but always being ready to learn from the ideas and differences we each may bring to the table.
In about three months, it will have been five years since being diagnosed with the Guillian-Barré Syndrome, that left me paralyzed and confined to this chair. During this five year period, I've seen six different hospitals, seven different residences, and dozens, or so, doctors and therapists - all but one of which has has said that I should fully recover.
I am quite certain that no Docter wants to deliver bad news, but the one exception was my current neurologist when he leveled with me and suggested I embrace a "new" normal.
That bit of opinion has made me think about what I am able and unable to do. It has helped me better understand my attitude, as well as to get along with those that don't.
Many folks question what has happened to me and wonder why I am not bitter. To be correct about this theme, I have times during which I get frustrated and, yes, even bitter. But does it help?
There's no one I would've wished this (GBS) on. So how can I say "...why me?!?". You can't really ask that unless you hate someone enough that you wish to trade places with them. But God isn't about hate. What I am still here for may need to be done from my chair. I don't pretend to understand God's plan. I merely ask that I can be part of it.
I believe my restrictions will be removed, in this life, or the next. As my life and faith are concerned, my presence on this planet is a simple station stopover on the train to eternity. While here, I will work on whatever is put in my path. You see, I plan to be on that train.
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