Rock Solid

I told mom yesterday "His vital signs were rock solid in the night." She said "I like that description...so much better than stable"

Later that afternoon, we were happy to use those words to describe, of all things, his emotional state....

Mom arranged to have the palliative care RN and chaplain meet privately with Dad to see what he might be feeling. We taught them how to communicate with him and then we stepped out into the lobby to give him privacy to share. Honestly, Mom and I were so afraid to hear the results and Mom even said "I'm not even going to ask about the conversation because that should be confidential" BUT the RN and Chaplain came out to find us and they couldn't wait to tell us "He is good!!"

They asked him:
Are you sad? No
Worried? Yes
Worried about getting better? No
Worried about how long to get better? Yes
Worried about Nancy? Yes
Worried about condo? No
Worried about grand kids? No

Are you angry?   No
Hopeful?  Yes
Believe you will be healed? Yes
Believe in God? Yes
Believe in prayer? Yes

Are you getting your questions answered? Yes
Confused? No
Getting good care from RNs? Yes
Anything they can do to improve? No
Comfortable? Yes

Ready to go to rehab?  Yes
You might be moving to LTAC soon, can the chaplain keep seeing you in LTAC? Yes
PT/OT have been here? Yes

What are you most afraid of? "S-E-Q-U-E-N-C-E"
Of events? Yes
Are you worried about how long for each part of the sequence? No


Are you as amazed at his depth of strength as we are?! We were completely stunned. It shouldn't be surprising, because it is consistent with his life and faith prior to this craziness, but we couldn't help but be fearful that he was cracking under the strain. Not at all. Rock solid.

And "sequence" of course he is!! He is a systems engineer. ;)

I drove to Cincinnati Monday night with my heart full of fear and grief and I'm leaving today full of hope and amazement. He is clinging to his faith and his faith is proving strong.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" Psalm 18:2

(I just read this entire post to Dad before publishing-to get his approval. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't overstepping his privacy or putting words in his mouth. He gave me lots of approval with his jaw movements. Through tears, I told him how proud and amazed we all are.)