April 7th

I won't lie, today has been a pretty rough day for everyone, including dad. This syndrome is ugly. Stupid and ugly and every other adjective I tell my kids not to use. It's hard to believe that one month ago today he and Mom were signing papers to sell their house and buy the condo.

Dad had 6 or so bradycardic events today. His heart rate dropped to the 30's, which prompted his BP to skyrocket to the 200's, and his oxygen level to drop to the 80's.  Dad complained of not feeling well today and needed more pain meds. They did a chest X-ray this evening which led them to follow up with a bronchoscopy. His right lung was completely full and it was "spilling over" to the left lung. (Kinda like a double sink) I didn't realize it could even do that. I'm eager to talk to the dr tomorrow and hear about why this keeps happening so abundantly. He is suctioned frequently and he just had a bronch on Friday.

I'm sitting by his bedside right now looking at some beautiful vitals - Heart rate 87, BP 123/61, oxygen 100%. His nurse asked him if he was in pain and he motioned no. He was just given a bath. His nurse is being very attentive to him and conversational with me. I've come to respect a nurse that gives (warm!) blankets to family without being asked. It allows us to save our "asks" for things that he needs. Although, I just heard her ask him if he needed anything else, and he motioned no. She then made extra effort to turn off lights in the room and close the curtain. It's the little things that are really so so big.

Personally, my anxiety level has dropped about 60% just getting down here and seeing him. He gave me lots of jaw movements when I told him I was here and would be staying the night and that I'd been calling to talk to his nurses every shift to check on him. He was very affirmative and then said that he didn't feel the need to spell anything right now. It was relieving to see a clear yes and no.

We are  both settled in for what we hope is a peaceful and uneventful night.